Last year I had a big breakdown and I´m so happy I'm on the right track and almost made it through to the other side. It´s amazing how much one can go through in a year and how much one can develop. In this post I want to share with you some of my experiences and lessons learned from 2016. I hope this can help you make this year an even happier one.

So back to the beginning (or the beginning of the end):

I asked my boss for a meeting to tell him that I wanted to downshift and work less hours (because I couldn´t stand it anymore). He phoned our Human Resources Manager in order to also participate in the meeting. When she heard the story, she said:

- Maybe you should see a doctor.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I realized she might be right. I couldn’t go on like this. It made me feel more miserable every day.

After a few days I met my doctor. I told him my story and he said:

- I want you to have sick leave from tomorrow.

I was almost chocked! Was it that bad? Yes, I guess it was. I had waited too long to speak up about my condition and my body and mind couldn´t cope anymore.

After a spring with too much work and too little time for myself and my family, I was burned out. I went on sick leave at 75% just before summer. I worked only one day a week and had to delegate many of my tasks. But I was feeling even worse. My inner pressure and my negative thoughts did that I just got more stressed out and my body began to break down even more. I was thinking thoughts like:

- Everybody will hate it. They´ll kill me.

- I will fail and make a fool out of myself.

- I can´t make it. This is going to break me down.

I guess you´ve been there to. It´s really painful!

I met my doctor once a month and in mid-October, he said:

- I want you to be on sick leave 100%.
At first, I didn´t want to, but then I realized that it probably was the only way for me to be healthy again.

I was so burned out that in the middle of the day it was difficult for me to keep my eyes open and not fall asleep. I felt inner vibration of stress during a large part of the day and had difficulty remembering things. When I searched “burned out” on Google almost all the symptoms fit into how I felt, unreasonable performance expectations and palpitations were a few more examples.

The next days I worked to delegate and finish all my tasks. Then I went home. For how long, I didn´t know. But it was a huge relief! Finally I could relax! I didn´t have to do anything related to my work for quite a while.

There would be three months on sick leave 100% and then 75% again to come back, but with a completely different project, other tasks and less responsibility.

So, what did I do with all the time? First of all, I drove my wonderful daughters to school at 8.30 and they come home from school at about 1.30 pm or 2.00 pm so it was not that much time as it can sound. Second- I was very tired at the beginning and didn´t have that much energy so some of the time I didn´t do anything special.

Here are some of the things I’ve been doing:

- Taking a nap

which I really needed sometimes.

- Listening to and reading a lot from my Law of Attraction gurus.

I have been interested in LOA since 2012 so I've had time to find some favorites and catch up on some wisdom. I will come back to them in later posts.

- Doing meditation and yoga

which makes me more relaxed and peaceful. During the spring when I got more stressed Istopped meditate and do yoga because I was so tired in the mornings. I now know that that is a very bad sign.

- Taking long walks

in the beautiful woods to get some exercise and some sun in my eyes.

- What do I want?

Trying to find out what it is that I want to do when I grow up.

- Socializing

Meeting some of my lovely friends for lunch or even dinner.

- Journaling

very good to straightening the thoughts.

- Get new insights

Participating in a Mindfulness class, where I learned a lot of great stuff.

- Meeting my psycho therapist

once a week in the first months and then once every two weeks. Every time I learned something useful to think about after each session. I will come back to this in another post.

- Preparing for my blog!

This has really been calling me for a long time and I have finally started to write. I´m so excited about it.

- Cleaning, cooking…

(I know, I wasn´t supposed to)

- Learning about online business,

which I also find really exciting…

- Working with my thoughts

which has been a big challenge. But it has been absolutely crucial. I still have to pay attention to them but they are so much more positive and encouraging now. And I thought that I was a positive and calm person before…

- Looking at movies.

I love movies! Especially those that make me feel great afterwards, you know, the heartwarming ones.

5 big things that happened in 5 weeks

In five weeks in December/start of January five events occurred which triggered chains of events which ended up changing my way of thinking and acting!

1st thing…

that happened was that I got in touch with a seer. It started with a mother to my daughter’s friend telling us that now her daughter was healthy thanks to a seer. He can “see” what disease people have. I directly thought that he might help me to so I got his phone number.

A few weeks later I phoned him up.

- Yes? he answered.

- Hi, my name is Tina and I´m looking for Kjell.

- That´s me.

And I started to tell him about my daughter’s friend.

- I am closed today, he said.

- Can I call you in a week? I asked.

- That´s ok.

- Ok. Thank you!

We hang up and my eyes overflowed with tears. I was so overwhelmed by strong feelings! And later when I told this to one of my closest friends, who also believe in healing and Law of Attraction, I started crying again because I felt so strong emotions. I don´t know what it is. Maybe it's because he's so powerful, or it´s my higher self’s way to say this is RIGHT!

The second time I phoned Kjell a week later we talked for about 15 minutes.

- You have problem with xxx and xxx and you feel like xxx, he said. (xxx = I want some privacy…)

Everything he said was spot on! He wanted me to eat some homoeopath medicine. And now it´s been 5 weeks so I will call him back tonight. The medicine is running out. Some things have gotten better and some I hope will get better in a while. I am so excited to talk to him again and hear what he has to say this time.

2nd event…

was me having dinner with the same close friend as in the former story. We talked about life, what we wanted out of it and numerous of other things. I told her that I´ve wanted to start blogging for a long time now.

She encouraged me to just start and here we are now! I think there is a lack of a more personal angle to this with spirituality and the Law of Attraction. I hope that we can have great discussions and create a family feeling here on the blog and the website (which will come later).

3rd thing…

that led to a revolutionary insights started with me reading an article about a female alpine skier in a magazine. At the end of the article she mentioned a person who inspires her. Afterwards I checked him up and was totally hooked. Thank you Law of Attraction and Universe! I'm not particularly interested in skiing so I am so grateful for the synchronicity which led me to read that article.

The person she is inspired of is Bentinho Massaro. The recent month or so I have listened to a lot of his material, both at Sound Cloud and YouTube. His website is http://www.bentinhomassaro.com

if you want to check him out. His teaching goes deep, really deep and that is what excites me so much. For him Law of Attraction is just the beginning.

Since I started listen to him my understanding of the Universe and myself has expanded and it´s very exciting. If you feel that you are ready to go deep here is the link to his free online course (no need for any opt in) https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/

4th thing…

started with a post on Facebook. There was this video where Tony Robbins tells a fantastic story. It was so touching that I couldn´t hold back the tears. I thought- I want to be a part of this! I felt it deeply in my heart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjAvcAtDnGk

I don´t know if you´ve heard about Basket Brigade. Here is a description from Tony Robbin´s webpage:

“The International Basket Brigade is a 100% volunteer-run program dedicated to feeding those in need. It’s built on a simple notion: one small act of generosity on the part of one caring person can transform the lives of hundreds. What began as Tony’s individual effort to feed families in need has now grown into the Anthony Robbins Foundation’s International Basket Brigade, providing baskets of food and household items for an estimated two million people annually in countries all over the world.

Throughout the year International Basket Brigade volunteers deliver food, clothing, and, best of all, hope – to those who need it most." https://www.tonyrobbins.com/news/international-basket-brigade/

After seeing that video and shown it to my husband I paid for baskets for several families, told the Swedish organization that we were a party of four who wanted to help packing the bags, and that we also wanted to help delivering some of them. When the girls came home we told them. I was surprised by how excited they got when we told them that we would do this together.

My husband, I and our two daughters participated in Basket Brigade here in Stockholm, Sweden, a few days before Christmas. We and about 45 other joyful people came there at 5 pm and after two hours all bags for the 417 families were packed. It was actually a very lovely atmosphere.

When it was time to deliver the bags we got the addresses to five families. We acted only as “the delivery boy” as Tony wants it to be. But my heart was singing!

That day I experienced more than ever before how amazing it was to give and help other people. My heart gets warm every time I think about those I met that evening. They were so happy! I've probably got as much out of this as they did- if not more. This has changed me for the better and expanded my way of seeing a lot of things.

5th thing

that happened- I have become an aunt! This is huge for me! Even several months before he was born I was filled with deep love every time I thought about him. When I learned that he was born I felt such a strong joy and bliss. After this, I have been changed for the better.

I do things at once (before I often procrastinated, felt really bad when I was thinking that I have to do these things and when I finally did them I did them with great difficulty, or not at all) From small things (throw away some old food in the fridge to bigger things at work- not calling to get a new assignment or talk about money with a client) and I have much more energy.

I have cleaned out the freezer, some drawers in the kitchen, the drawers in the bathroom and bedroom, bedside table and the floor (I know) in the bedroom and dressing room. This in just two weeks. It had been impossible before without a lot of anxiety, procrastination and overwhelming fatigue. Now it's been like a dance.

I have also started exercise several days a week which I haven´t done for over a year. And all this just because a little boy is born! I can´t explain why- but I am so grateful for it all- both him and my changes!

Something else happened

during this time while I had much more time for myself, more time to think and analyze how I feel about things. I have had so many business ideas that I feel I want something new. Life (this life) are not forever so I feel that I want to try to do something else, too. Start my own business for example. This niche I feel strongly about so we'll see if I get there, or else I have 5-6 other ideas.
When I think of the several business ideas they have something in common- they all help people in various ways. If I look at my current job from that angle I can see that it´s also about helping people but in a different way.

At this moment I can´t choose. Maybe I haven´t found the right thing yet or not the right timing. It will take some more time. It's an important step so it needs to feel right! But I know- I have to do something different this year and move forward so that wonderful things will happen in the job area as well!

Learn your own warning signals

One thing that I have a hard time understanding is how I could get myself into this.

How could I, who knows how important it is to keep the energy high- that it in fact is the most important thing we have, go so deep down the drain? I guess to be burned out is such a powerful force that you just can´t think and act as you normally do.

I guess you have to learn your own warning signals and act strongly at them. They can manifest in many ways. Now I´ve figured out that mine are. That´s when:

I feel I don´t have the time/energy to practice yoga
I feel I don´t have the time/energy to meditate
I feel I´m alone in what I´m doing
things feel boring or tedious
I often get sad or weepy
things feel meaningless or impossible
my body screams for me to stop by feeling worse and worse
and other things I can´t think of now.

I now know that if I feel like this again I have to stop and figure out how to do it differently. And never lose sight of the wisdoms I already had and those I´ve learned this time.

7 important Things I Wish I Known to Avoid my Tough Breakdown

In 2016 so much happened and I went through so many changes. There are much I´m not that proud of but there are even more things I´m deeply satisfied about.

Most of the time after my breakdown I felt positive about the outcome off all this. I have grown deeper spirituality and taking me through this in a reasonably balanced manner. I feel that I´m almost out on the other side. Here are some important things I´ve learned along the way which I now know would have stopped me from being burned out:

1. Never lose yourself!

Always ask and listen to what your soul/your higher self/your gut feeling has to say about things!

2. Connect with yourself

Meditate, practice yoga, take long walks in quiet surroundings or other calm activities you like so that you can connect with yourself.

3. Take time to recover!

Time is sometime the most valuable asset you have. Always set aside time to recover your body, mind and soul. If you don´t you might be forced to take a seriously long time off later. I know- I just had to take the long road.

4. Have fun!

This is crucial! When you lose the fun there is something that needs to change! It is a sign that something is wrong. I will write a singel post about why joy and happiness is so important.

5. Protect your energy!

If you don´t have enough energy you don´t even have the strength to do the right things or make the necessary changes you need to do to come up on your feet again. This can be to:

eat healthy and tasty food
exercise something you like
get enough sleep
don´t work to much!

6. Be in a positive environment!

You can for example:

be around positive people (stay away from the others)
think positive thoughts. This is so important! How can you think differently about the situation so that you feel good? We can always choose where to focus our thoughts.
be loving to the most important person in your life- YOU
have fun (once again)
spend time with the ones you love

7. In every second we can choose to change.

We always have the chance to think and act differently. Next time something negative happens you can choose to react in a different way.

8. Bonus insight: Always have faith!

Everything is ok and it will work out! The entire time after my break down I´ve felt faith except from a few short moments when I struggled with painful thoughts. Most of the time I´ve known that everything will work out. According to Law of Attraction this is another essential subject to have in mind all the time. Always trust- and things will work out. If you think the opposite there is a bigger risk that something will go wrong.

My intentions for 2017 is:

Just DO it! This is my new slogan- thank you Nike!
be BRAVE
have FUN
do exciting things
be even happier

Now that I have this incredible momentum going on considering the wonderful things happened in just 5 weeks I have a fantastic feeling that this year is going to be just amazing! Imagine if things just goes on like that! We'll see what 2017 has in store! I´ll keep you posted…

You are the most important person in your life!

What can you do to take care of yourself? Are you connected to yourself? Are you taking time to recover? Are you protecting your energy? And the most important- are you having fun? If not- it´s time for some changes! I hope some of my experiences and lessons learned can help you make this year an even happier one.

I would love if you leave a comment about your journey or other thoughts you might have.

Love to you!

7 important Things I Wish I Knew to Avoid Being Burned out